Aversion to publicity
Hazrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad of Qadian (as)
As for me I was so absorbed in myself (in the remembrance of God) that I was living a life of seclusion; nothing was dear to my heart except He Himself. I did not like to come out of my room and not for a moment I wanted publicity for myself. I was all alone – and isolated – and that was all I liked most. Publicity and a Jamaat around were most averse to me. How much averse were these things to me is better known to God the Almighty. But God compelled me to come out. I did not like it, but He let it be done against my wish; for, He had assigned a duty to me. He chose me for His work and through His grace He honoured me with this great position. It is His own selection; I have no hand in this matter. What I could observe is that I wished to stay far away (as if it is miles and miles away) from publicity and from the people in the form of a Jamaat; I simply cannot understand how do the people hanker after publicity – I was drawn altogether to the other direction whereas God’s will was quite different. I supplicated to God repeatedly that I should be left in seclusion – in my room of aloofness. But I was repeatedly instructed by God to come out and work, for, the religion was in a very precarious condition at that time; I was told to come in the open and straighten the affairs of religion. The prophets are always like that – they are very much averse to publicity – no prophet has ever wished for it. The Holy Prophet(sallallaho alaihi wa sallam) also like to remain in a secluded place that is why he used to go to the cave Hira far away from the people. This cave was full of perils so much so that nobody dared go inside it but that is the place which he chose for himself; he did not like the publicity in the least. However, God commanded him in the words ‘Ya ayyohal Moddassiro qum fa anzir.’
There seems to be a sort of compulsion in this order from God Almighty and reason for this order from God is that the Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wa sallam) did not like to come out of his seclusion. There are some people who out of their ignorance think that I like publicity. I have said it repeatedly that I do not like it, it is God who has brought me out in the open.
(Malfoozat vol. 7, pg. 43)